Hi Bobby,

I was hugely amused by the story about South helping sink his own contract – shades of Victor Mollo and a reminder that patience is a virtue. I recall two similar incidents.

One partner many years ago was faced with a KJx opposite xx side suit to guess. After much agonising, and weighing all the evidence he couldn’t judge and there was no flicker when he led towards dummy. He apologised to the opponents in advance, tossed a coin and got lucky when it indicated the right approach.

The other was with a much weaker partner who found a sensible opening lead, then was back on play after Trick 3. More and more time passed, and it seemed horribly obvious to me that anything except a particular card from a certain holding would be OK, but that single choice would be a disaster, letting the contract make. Pointlessly I tried to will him to pick a card at random, giving a 90% chance of beating it, but please, please stop thinking. You can guess the rest.

I have had sessions where every attempt at thinking has misfired and partner has said “Just stop it, and play by feel without thinking too much” – surprisingly effective on bad days and at least it gets the agony over more quickly. East’s double against Sabine Auken though, is a classic case of Reese’s comment that “careless talk costs contracts”, especially as East wasn’t even that keen for a club lead. I’d expect West to find it almost by default on the bidding shown.

regards,

Iain

Hi Iain,

I loved your apt description of what sometimes happen, particularly when stewing about the opening lead, which on many auctions is a very random guess.

It certainly looks normal to lead a club, when leading an ace or, usually worse, away from an ace, leading from J9x into a side suit which has been bid and raised, or, of course, leading from the K103 of trumps, which too often will give a trick away, leaves only clubs as a sort of fail safe choice. Sabine was blessed with extra knowledge, because of East’s lead directing double, but she is to be given credit for taking advantage of that information, which not only asked for a club lead, but, the dog which didn’t bark, preferring partner to lead her Q high suit instead of a spade, which, if holding the ace, wouldn’t have preferred a club.

While hearing important information helps during the bidding, it sometimes also is advantageous even when it comes from the opponents rather than partner.

I previously confessed to inadvertently playing bridge while visiting visiting Lower Slobbovia. Well, there were three hands and this hand was the second. The director had recognized me as I came in to the center to see traveling mud exhibition (on loan from Elbonia). As they dragged me towards the playing room, I was told it was the last hand of the championship pairs session. The player I was replacing had gotten sick during the auction. I protested that I did not know Lower Slobbovian Standard, but they assured me that no artificial bids had been made.

Once I sat down in the North chair and looked over the bidding cards on the table, I understood the problem. You see, the bidding had gone:

1H – Pass – 2C – Double
2D – (North gets sick)

What had obviously happened was that North had thought he had bid 2D, and only realized the situation when his partner had apparently duplicated his bid.

When West was finally allowed to bid, he passed and I had to work out what to do. I decided to support partner’s hearts, at which point he bid spades, undoubtedly delighted to bid out his pattern. Now what? Right or wrong, I mentioned notrump and suddenly East was leading a small club to my 3N. I ducked West’s ten, won the continuation, and led a small heart intending to cover East card. He played the queen, I won, came to hand with a diamond, led another heart again intending to cover East’s card. West won the Board’s knave and cleared clubs.

Fortunately, it was West who was long in hearts, so when I cashed out the diamonds and led the third heart, he had nothing but spades left and I ended up with 10 tricks and a top.

At that point, East-West started cussing in Slobbovian (Lower or Upper, I couldn’t tell) and, spotting my chance, I made a break for the exit.

Surely it’s time for Slobbovian and Elbonian bridge to be better recognized. How about some new named conventions, such as the Slobbovian Short-handled Spade, or the Elbonian Equal Sea-level conversion Pass?

Hi Jim 2 and Clarksburg,

No doubt the Lower Slobbovian bridge police reminded West that he could have cashed the ace of spades, instead of underleading it, allowing you to score up 10 tricks instead of 9 which, no doubt, started the cussing in either Lower or Upper Slobbovian jargon thereby mitigating the damages for EW, then paying off to the good play in 4 hearts at other tables which scored up, legitimately 420 which compared with 400 was perhaps average instead of the absolute bottom board -430 earned, which would, after word got out of the defense, not do general Slobbovian bridge defense the justice they were due.

And, Clarksburg, that is why even today justice surely dictates that both Slobbovian and Elbonian bridge are forbidden from having creative bridge conventions (such as you mention) named after them.

And that, as all fans of the late and great Paul Harvey, will recognize is “The Rest of the Story”.

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