Aces on Bridge — Daily Columns

The Aces on Bridge: Wednesday, June 15th, 2022


jim2June 29th, 2022 at 12:34 pm

This was another unlucky Slush Cup hand for me.

I was still East and was POed after the last hand in the previous round. (See me defending 6D in the column a few days ago) There was no way I was going to let them play 4C, so I bid 4S.

They started with two top clubs, and I ruffed the second.

South’s failure top make a T/O double almost certainly meant that he was not short in spades. Thus, if either was short, it would be North, who may have needed shape to compete to the 4-level. So, I laid down the AS and pushed through the 10S.

Next, I played on hearts. South won the second round and exited with the 7D.

North’s competitive raise showed a plain suit high card, so I played small from the Board for +420 and what would certainly be a top.

So, where was my customary bad luck? One of the major sponsors was a heavy vaper, but the smells were a bit off-putting to others. The Director improvised by sitting that major donor in a corner as North with fans exhausting through open windows behind him.

Yes, you guessed it! That travelling scoresheet blew out the window and is probably tumbling about in Upper Slobbovia by now.


bobbywolffJune 29th, 2022 at 2:26 pm

Hi Jim2,

Yes, Your TOCM proved once again that even the gentle breezes of life itself was no match for its power over you.

And no doubt you, in your candid description, left off the final insult by your opponents, since both players doubled you, but, of course, technically against the rules, but still allowed, since your opponents never missed being present at their tournaments.

However, and perhaps even justice being served by you and perhaps your partner, a no doubt first timer, since rarely has any one player ever experienced the pratfalls which regularly find your table when you, if you’ll excuse the description, attempt to get up to average, in spite of you never making a mistake (or should we call it a mis-snake).

What mistake could I possibly be referring to, since your card for card play in 4 spades (again, no doubt doubled twice) was no doubt triple, not only double, dummy. Why, in heavens name, were you not prepared to close that window as soon as you arrived at the table, prepared with a doctor’s note as necessary to your consenting to play to the strain of “Just too breezy to concentrate”?

And to think of such a talented player as you to even, at this stage of your illustrious bridge career, to almost never having even an above average board, much less an average overall game, in spite of never having lost a trick with your immaculate bidding, play, and defense.

Yes, perhaps a new learning experience, in order to get your first good board (and 4 spades doubled (twice) and making, might even be that) to show the world that such things as closing windows might be the first chapter in your future book, to be named, (“The Lonely Jim2”), waiting to be written.

Iain ClimieJune 29th, 2022 at 5:03 pm

Hi Jim2,

There used to be a precursor of M & M s over here called “Treets” (candy shells, chocolate inside) with a marketing claim that “Treets melt in your mouth, not in your hand”. Why do I think you’re getting the bridge equivalent of sticky fingers here?

Regards, and try to cheer up!


jim2June 29th, 2022 at 7:50 pm

Esteemed Host –

We played that board early in the evening. The “out the window” did not happen until the last round when I was on the other side of the hall. Otherwise, I might have desperately defenestrated.